


How to Kill Two Birds with One Stone

by SilverWolf7



Category: Lord of the Rings - Fandom
Genre: Humor, Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-09-13
Updated: 2010-09-13
Packaged: 2017-10-11 17:48:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/115058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverWolf7/pseuds/SilverWolf7
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>How to Kill Two Birds  with the One Stone: As Told by Peregrin Took to his son, Faramir.</p>
    </blockquote>





	How to Kill Two Birds with One Stone

**Author's Note:**

> How to Kill Two Birds with the One Stone: As Told by Peregrin Took to his son, Faramir.

How to Kill Two Birds with the One Stone: As Told by Peregrin Took to his son, Faramir.

The Anduin was flowing fast and heavy in the winter weather and the Fellowship I was part of stopped on its banks one day for rest. The sky was lightening with the presence of the sun and the birds were now coming to life, singing their songs for all to hear...if one were willing that is. The unique sounds of pheasants sure turned our heads.

I was very interested, as the thought of freshly cooked pheasant made my mouth water, as it would any young lad. I am sure the others in the company I was travelling with could readily agree as, when Merry and I set out to hunt some birds close by, the others followed close on our heels.

The two of us young Hobbits reached a spot that seemed likely, and I spotted two likely victims of my astonishing rock-throwing abilities in easy range.

I spotted Legolas, he was the Elf, slowly reaching behind him for one of his arrows and, not wanting to give him a chance to aim, much less shoot, I quickly picked up a good-looking sized rock and threw it hard and with great skill at the bird closest to me.

Much to the astonishment of all, except me of course, the rock bounced off the first bird and killed the second along with it. Grinning widely as I went and collected the pheasants, I could see all were mighty impressed with my fine skills at rock-throwing. In fact, all were gaping wide-mouthed at the apparently impossible feat I had easily just accomplished.

Pretty good for a fool of a Took, as Gandalf would have said. He was the wizard that had been travelling with us, and he had thought that I was too young to be off adventuring.

As I marched my way back to camp, one bird slung over each of my shoulders, I happened to catch Aragorn asking Boromir, they were the two Men, one is now the King of Gondor as you well know, if he had also witnessed the event. No faith in me, did my companions have. I was after all only a tweenager. Too young to know anything.

Well, I showed them good! Especially when the two birds were cooked by Samwise Gamgee. Never has pheasant tasted so good! And not a bit but the bones got wasted. The meat quickly disappeared and the feathers were all plucked so as to make fletching for arrows if we ran out. We simply buried the bones.

I was thanked quite profusely for my catch as we all were able to sleep with a small hot meal in our bellies for the first time since we had left Rivendell. I slept well that day, if I remember correctly, though I think we may have hidden from some form of creature at one point during the day...

Ah well, young Faramir, the point is it is usually a lot quicker to kill two birds with the one stone.

How to Kill Two Birds with the One Stone: As Told by Faramir Took, to Goldilocks Gardner, Soon-to-be Wife.

I tell you, Goldilocks, it was mere luck. The Ring had more chance of being worn to nothing by the Anduin River than my father killing two birds with one rock.

Still, it did make a rather amusing tale, and I plan to write it down someday. After all, it did happen while on the Quest to Mordor. It is history, and history should always be treasured.

A/N – Hope someone enjoys this story as much as I liked writing it. Thanks Marigold for the inspiration.

SilverWolf


End file.
